42. Changing the World Through Respect with Emily Snyder
The dictionary definition of respect is, “to consider someone worthy of high regard or esteem.” The scriptures tell us that God is no respecter of persons, so how do we look at all of his children as worthy, even with those who we may differ from? In his talk, Peacemakers Needed, President Nelson said, “we can literally change the world—one person and one interaction at a time, by modeling how to manage honest differences of opinion with mutual respect and dignified dialogue.”
“ Human kindness has to be part of our comfort zones.” — Emily Snyder
When we treat each other with respect despite our many differences it creates a ripple effect of peace. Emily Snyder joins the podcast again to discuss how the Lord respects us, and how we can respect others with that same human-kindness.
Respect is always earned, and never assumed. Treat people with the same respect you want to be treated with.
Success in this life is measured by the interactions we have with others, and not how much we have accomplished.
Self-respect comes from understanding our relationship with God and knowing that success is when we love him and ourselves.
We all want similar things, but we often come at those things from different angles. When we recognize we have Christ with us, we can easily navigate those differences.
God being no respecter of persons means that He sees us as our very favorite version of ourselves.
Small & Simple Challenge
Throughout the week, as you are interacting with others, use the phrase "oh, they're human too" either verbally or in your head as you are dealing with others that you might need to find more respect for.
Transcript +
Kathryn Davis 00:00 The dictionary definition of respect is to consider someone worthy of high regard or esteem. The scriptures tell us that God is no respecter of persons. So how do we look at all of his children as worthy, even with those who we may differ from? Hi, and welcome to Magnify an LDS Living podcast where we cheer inspire and embolden each other as women and followers of Jesus Christ. We hope to use our influence to make a difference in the world. I'm your host, Kathryn Davis, a mom, a seminary teacher and a grilling enthusiast who loves God. In his talk, peacemakers needed President Nelson said, we can literally change the world, one person and one interaction at a time by modeling how to manage honest differences of opinion with mutual respect and dignified dialogue. Did you hear that? We can literally change the world. When we treat each other with respect despite our many differences, or worldviews it creates a ripple effect of peace. To talk more about changing the world like our Prophet asked of us, I am with a previous guest and my dear friend, Emily Snyder. Well, Emily, I'm so excited that you are here today, and that we can have such a good discussion.
Emily Snyder 01:21 I'm psyched too. I love that our first chat was like, Wait, can we be friends? Here's an attempt again.
Kathryn Davis 01:29 I know. I just felt like this connection, and that you were just such this amazing person that I needed in my life. And then look what's happened.
Emily Snyder 01:39 Well, that says more about how poor your discernment is and whatever.
Kathryn Davis 01:44 Well, since you've been a guest before, we are going to forego the rapid fire questions, and I'm just going to ask you something else. Fantastic. I just want to know if you could tell us three things that you are finding joy in or that are bringing happiness into your life right now.
Emily Snyder 02:05 Oh, my gosh, so good. And can I just say usually, I feel like I ask random people these types of questions all the time. And since they always throw people off, I rarely answer them. And so I thank you for giving me a dose of medicine. So, yesterday, I actually said this to my mom. So I'm moving. I've been in a renovation process for a condo that I bought in downtown Salt Lake in a 100 year old apartment building. It used to be a high end hotel back in the day. And it's just had this multiple levels of iteration of individuals that live in the building. And so it's everything that's in this building, and it gives me such joy, and it's finally finished. So we were moving in a bunch of my belongings yesterday, exhausted as we were driving away from it, since I'm not ready to sleep in it yet. And I just told my mom, I am just giddy and thrilled about creating that space. Like I couldn't be more excited to actually be at this spot to like, make it my own, recreate dreams, edit past dreams, make new ones and just find this spot. So that's number one. Number two was Vessel is a restaurant in Utah that is a fast food. It's like healthy dining. They're very limited foods I can eat because I have some really intense anti inflammatory reactions to a lot of foods. And we went to vessel and I was like so excited, because there isn't a Vessel near where I live with my parents right now. And so it's like such a delight. And then three, I've decided to give myself vacations a week long vacations by myself, because I'm a family of one. And typically you plan family vacations or spouse vacations. And since those are in my world, I have now extended family vacations that I will definitely prioritize. But I am... the last number of years I've really identified and recognized if I'm going to have a family vacation for my Emily Snyder family, that means the solo trip, which I love solo trips, so I'm taking myself on a week long vacation. Again. I did one in February did one last August. So I'm so excited.
Kathryn Davis 04:23 Where are you going?
Emily Snyder 04:25 This time to save money because of that apartment renovation, I'm going to my parents home they have a Zen house down in southern Utah. And I'm going to write. That's the whole point is to just write and get thoughts and heart experiences out and just see what I can create one day. So I'm so excited I'll eat yummy food and go to Sprouts and stock up on healthy treats. I mean I'm so excited!
Kathryn Davis 04:52 Okay, so your apartment, food and a vacation. Yeah, I mean, wait. There's nothing better like... There's food in there. So that's so good. Well, Emily, you know that as a Magnify community, we've been working on becoming better at being peacemakers and diving into what that really means. And President Nelson, in his landmark address, mentioned something that I think could have been really easily overlooked by many of us. And I want to dig into that a little bit with you. He says that part of being a peacemaker is respect and learning how to respect others, ourselves, and God. I want to talk with you a little bit about respect today, but before we do, when I say that word, what is the first song that comes into your mind? "R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me." we kind of have to just get that out of our head, right? Okay, so what do you think respect for someone looks like or what does that mean?
Emily Snyder 06:01 Oh, there's so many thoughts that I had in thinking through this topic and conversation for today. And the very first one I thought of was the difference between respect and authority. And like, what is the differentiation? Because oftentimes, I think when I get bugged and forget to respect people, it's because I'm older, or I'm paying for a service, and so treat me better. Or, like, I've just had more experiences in a certain situation. And so, and those are elements, I think of authority that the Yoda figure would have, like, he's got the Wisdom, he's had the life experience, he's, he's found success in something.
Kathryn Davis 06:44 Or he has the title.
Emily Snyder 06:45 He has the title, he's done all those things. And so maybe when I lose... when I'm acting in a way, where I forget the respect piece, is how I might see that authority figure interacting, and it may not align to my value set perhaps, or when I look at myself, and how I perhaps am not the most respectful and impatient moments, like maybe with a furniture company customer service individual, when I'm frustrated, and I'm like, I'm older, I'm paying, what the heck, you're just getting your paycheck, that's not respectful. And so finding that space of like, well, am I playing into an authority mindset that I get my way or, like, what's my end goal and the conversation? I think those with authority, assume respect is a given. I assume the furniture gal that I can demand respect, because I'm the paying customer, when in reality, respect is always, always earned. Always. In my life in general, I've just been thinking a lot about the Scripture in the first John 4:19, "We love Him because He first [he first] loved us." As a school teacher, I remember classes I taught in the low income school, and I had some of the sweetest toughest battles with my students, because they were in a life situation where their parents weren't capable, or had the opportunity to be the parents sometimes. So my students, as a sixth grader, often had to be the authority figure in their home. They had to take care of themselves or their younger siblings, and so to come to then have a teacher fight them at times to be the adult in the room, there was often this wrestle. And I remember one conversation particular of a student making some sort of comment, and I'm sure it was in my younger teaching years where I was like, but I'm a teacher. So you have to respect me. And he's like, No, you have to earn my respect. First and foremost. And you are the adult so start right. I was like, you're not wrong, wise child.
Kathryn Davis 09:05 Well, as a teacher, too, I think that's really fascinating, especially with that scripture, he first loved us. And then we are able to respect that and understand that. And so in order to earn respect, we have to first show respect, right?
Emily Snyder 09:23 Yeah. And to start the conversation and not just assume... like it takes a lot of proactiveness.
Kathryn Davis 09:29 So what have you learned about respect from your working life? Like, I know that you worked with Chip and Joanna Gaines, which is something that I'm sure our Magnify community would all love to know more about. But in their manifesto, in the Magnolia manifesto, it reads, "We believe in human kindness knowing we are made better when we all work together."
Emily Snyder 09:53 Yeah. So good there. The manifesto for Magnolia is glorious and another line in there is, "we believe in cart-wheeling outside of our comfort zone."
Kathryn Davis 10:04 Oh, I love that.
Emily Snyder 10:05 I know, it's such a fun visual. It talks about cart-wheeling, and this mindset of just a fun proactiveness that I think this, in relationship to this human kindness and this respect part is, it's a proactive effort to show human kindness. It's not an autopilot. Because there are many, many moments that we can easily not be kind.
Kathryn Davis 10:33 So when has someone shown you that human kindness or that respect that you were then able to emulate?
Emily Snyder 10:42 Okay, let me get my tissues. Another incredible individual that I got to work with was Clayton Christensen, who passed away in 2020. And I don't know that there will be a day that I don't talk about him without tears, because he lived this in every possible way. He wrote a book called, "How Will I Measure My Life?" with two other co authors. One of them, Clay Christensen, devoutly, a member of our faith community, and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And then a student, a former student of his who was strongly atheist, and then another woman who was in the middle. Like she, she didn't not believe in God, but she didn't have a specific religion that she was dedicated to. And the whole book, the mindset takes all of his business theories, but then says, How do you measure success? And how do you measure your life? It's by the individual relationships that you have one on one, everyday. He lived that 100%. It didn't matter, as the person that got to manage the calendar of one of the most thought out business thinkers in the world, he gave an equal amount of time to the gentleman in his ward that was a handyman that needed a job as he did to the CEOs or political leaders that were knocking down his door. Like, every single one, the answer was, they're all the same. They all get equal amount of time, energy, and efforts. And he lived that. So me being the assistant, there's definitely the authority world. I was the assistant. I was the... for the rest of the world that I worked with, when I had my title on my email saying I'm the assistant. Their perception is I'm the "get the laundry," I'm the "Go get the lunches" person for clay, I was the vice president of operations. I was everything. So when I made a statement, it was it was it. And he went and did what I organized for him to go do and he literally handed his life to me, and would say great, whatever. And then consequently, I was invited. His rule was if there was any conversation that I was interested in the door was always open. And that meant also not just in his business life, but his family also did the same thing in their home. And I got to be the participant at so many tables at home, that I had no right to be in, but they opened the door over and over and over again, to be a member of the family and to join them on vacations. And anyway, so the Christiansen family 100% exemplifies this and showcased and let me practice hopefully, what was already a piece of me, but just helped me magnify as much as I possibly could. This mindset of human kindness respect no respecter of persons like...
Kathryn Davis 13:36 So how have you practice that? I like how you said practice, too.
Emily Snyder 13:40 Thank you. Um, I didn't practice it very well, with a furniture gal this morning, tragically. I was so good for a while, and then I got transferred to somebody else after so many minutes. So I didn't practice that great, after a half hour of trying to solve a furniture issue by the fourth person, my respect dropped.
Kathryn Davis 13:57 So what do you do? And those moments like when we totally mess up, when we look back at something and say, Oh, that wasn't so great. I wish I would have done that better. And even it reminds me of a story that a mutual friend just told us. She was in Salt Lake and leaving lunch and going back to her office, and she passed a homeless man. And he was holding a sign up. And this sign said, "ask me about my life." And the sign caught her attention, but it didn't stop her to ask him a question. And for weeks, she has thought about that moment. Like I didn't do it. I should have done it. What do we do in those moments when we're not so good at it?
Emily Snyder 14:46 Yeah, I don't know.
Kathryn Davis 14:49 I know, so like so it just happened this morning. So now what?
Emily Snyder 14:52 Right. Well, so a couple of thoughts. I remember one time my dad asked me what I want to do with my life and I was just like, I just want to be kind to people. And he was like, yeah, that's not a job. But I've realized that they're life details that have to happen. So our friend may have had a meeting to get back to. And then in a dream world, in the utopia land, like, there would have been time, she could have gotten back and said, I'm sorry, I had this moment, I'm 15-20 minutes late, because I had this really neat experience. In some worlds that might happen be okay, periodically, most of our lives, that's unacceptable, like, No, we've got things to do. People are relying on us, there's work to be done, there's limited amounts of time and resources. And for me, that's where it came down to, if like, I have this window of time that I have allocated to get all these pieces that I feel obligated to do want to do whatever for my job for my life for my family. And you just took 30 of the 15 I have allotted for this moment. So like, what the heck, this isn't a hard thing. So I think this is given to the question of respecting self, also, I think is a huge piece of respecting. Yeah, so maybe I blew it in that moment. But maybe, but I'll be respectful to my child or to my mom or to my whatever, my coworker in a different way, because being on time is respectful to the other people. So like, which relationships also need the trade offs? And and how am I calibrating the trade offs of the relationships? Probably that's where I want to land in my answer.
Kathryn Davis 16:34 Well, and I think I've never thought of being respectful will help me be a peacemaker, and being respectful will ultimately bring more peace into my life. And if that's what I want more than anything, so you said something interesting, we have to have respect for self first, why is that?
Emily Snyder 16:56 I mean, another conversation we had with another friend. I like humans. I would much much rather interact with humans. If I can be okay with my human-ness, then I think there's a lot of space to be okay with other human-ness. To recognize, I don't know what all is going on in that person's life. And so I can take all of the pieces, and attempt to just be more gracious and more patient, and to say, I see you, I don't know all the pieces. But if I know all the pieces that I'm juggling in my life, I'm going to guess you're juggling a similar amount of pieces in your life. And I don't know what that's looking like, I don't know what that's going like. That was one thing, I really appreciate that either Clay articulating for me or practicing with him, of just the thing we always hear about you never know. But the more I recognize, I'm allowed to be human, I then feel like I give other people permission to be human. And I say that like that is the phrase that I say is, Oh, I like working with humans. And so if it's too many, then it turns into like, Okay, well, because I respect you, this is an ongoing thing. I don't want you to keep living in such a way that this is damaging.
Kathryn Davis 18:09 It does begin with self for everyone. And so what are steps that we can honestly take to help us have more respect for ourselves? Because I think a lot of us seek outside validation. If it's a good lesson, I think it's a good lesson because my students said it was a good lesson. Or if I'm a good mom, it's because my kids are happy or like I'm seeking outside validation. And that is not having respect for myself.
Emily Snyder 18:40 Yes and no, because I mean, I think it also... I don't think that's a negative thing. But I think it's a reality of life. I mean, again, I think that's human-ness. I don't... I mean, that's so fun that you're asking me these questions like I know the answers.
Kathryn Davis 18:56 Well, this is what I think Emily, I was a perfect mom, before I had kids. Yeah. And then I had them. And I thought, yeah,
Emily Snyder 19:06 I am a perfect mom, because I don't have them I recognize that.
Kathryn Davis 19:09 Right. And I think some of that comes through experience. Some of that comes through failure and mistakes, some of the respect for myself, and especially like what you said, the respect for others comes because I do make mistakes.
Emily Snyder 19:25 Well, I mean, I tongue in cheek made this made a similar comment when I was teaching Sunday school one time in a gospel doctrine of, I get it, I don't have kids. So I am the perfect parent. And I think a lot of people's confidence fails, because they have now watched their children make choices that they thought they taught them differently. And so confidence is completely lost. And I, for being bold and adamant about certain things, I was like, well hold up. Let's talk about what I'm told them adamant about. I'm not saying that it's XYZ or that looks a certain way, but I am bold and adamant in mindsets of a relationship of redefining success of saying, what am I actually trying to accomplish? And what is truly the end goal? Is the end goal of perfect house? I might invite people to rethink that. So I think it's that mindset that for me, then gives me self respect. Because I'm defining success between me and God. I mean, I've said it for a while, and I will say it till I die, that being single has been my greatest opportunity to wrestle out what success means for me and God, because of the pathway that I anticipated successful women of God to look like is not what's happened in my life. No matter how many dating books I've read, to try to understand. No matter how many times I fasted every week for that marriage thing, like I've done all the things, and no matter what, to wrestle out and realize God loves me for me, and what my efforts are and how I work it out with him. That is success. Like I have my new definition of success.
Kathryn Davis 21:09 Well, do you think that's what it means when it says God is no respecter of persons? Right, like, what the world's or our church culture determines his success is not what God will determine is success for me. That's, that's my individual relationship with him, right? Like success is gonna look different today, than maybe it did last year. And success is going to look different next week than it does today. I have to have that with him. Right, I have to have that vertical relationship. So that I am looking at what success means that he's not a respecter of persons. He doesn't care about position or influence. That's not what he's caring about.
Emily Snyder 21:54 Yeah. And my therapists would, thinks that you said have to, I know, thank you. He's taught me so much to be like, there are no need-to's or no have-to's. Life is trickier when we don't focus on the Lord, first and foremost. And that definition with him, I think, gets more complicated sometimes. But I love that idea of no respecter in that regard. Because I also think about it in terms of, I've been given a lot of opportunities. And I know that I've made opportunities out of the opportunities I've been given. I haven't sat around. And I haven't just looked at a lot of grand opportunities and been like, Well, I mean, I think of the parable of the talents, like I've been given them, and I've gone and done something with them. But I also recognize I was born in a situation that allowed a lot of opportunities. And in the home and the family that I have, I often feel like Emily Snyder, if you don't do something, shame on you, because of the things that I feel like the Lord has handed me. And I know the Lord hands us all our own packages to have our own journeys. And I think that, with a heavenly eyes of saying, I know, I know this one bites, and I know you got a bum deal. And so if that didn't work out, and you didn't do XYZ, so it doesn't look like the Liahona cover the magazine. Totally fine, because I know, I know what you're fighting. I know what you're dealing with. So that is not the expectation I have. And I think that's where for me no respecter of persons comes into play is that Clay would teach that God is not... God has such a perfect vision that in our mortal mind, we have to accumulate things, we have to put them all in categories, we have to put them all so we understand and we can compute, but he's not... He's the perfect account, and he doesn't need categories. I'm a category of one. And so I'm not compared to anybody else. He doesn't have to measure anything else in comparison. That's what I love about that mindset of no respecter of persons.
Kathryn Davis 24:02 I think sometimes we view it as a graph where some people are maybe respected, more blessed more, and we see it as a graph, but God is looking over it all. He doesn't see...
Emily Snyder 24:15 And they're all individuals, right. He can do it. Yeah.
Kathryn Davis 24:18 So if God is not a respecter of persons, what do you think he's asking us about who or what deserves our respect?
Emily Snyder 24:28 Well, I want to maybe think about that in context to the peace conversation. What is he asking in the respect conversation? Because I do think the greatest gift of having an intimate personal relationship with our Father through Jesus Christ is peace, that no matter what happens, there's confidence that we can navigate it. Which then in that question, so then what is the ask, is for me to say, okay, maybe so and so created a work situation that now makes my life 10 times more complicated. But I can navigate that. I've got Christ. And I can navigate that. They don't have to show up the way I anticipated them showing up, they can show up the way they showed up. And that is what it is. And I don't need to, I don't need to stress about that. Because with Christ, I can navigate whatever pieces come along, and we're all reasonable people, we all want similar things. So just because we're coming at it from different angles, we can handle that.
Kathryn Davis 25:29 And a lot of that depends what you said earlier is having respect for God, and for Jesus Christ. And having respect to me also means trusting in his power and in his ability, right? I think of that story of Peter so much, when Peter gets out of the boat, and walks to the Savior, and everybody talks about him sinking and the Savior reaches down and pulls him up. But I just think about what got him out of the boat in the first place. Like how in the world did he take that first step? And what experiences did he have with the Savior that he knew it would be okay to step out?
Emily Snyder 26:09 And my favorite part of it is probably similar to that is, he fell. Where else would I rather fall than in a spot where the Savior is instantly intimately scooping me up and saving me? If he'd stayed on the boat, he never would have had the embrace. And that one on one moment of failing and then being saved by the Savior, that could only happen because he failed, failed? fell. Because he fell and took the risk, he then had such a sacred moment with the Savior that he would have missed out on if he hadn't gotten out of the boat.
Kathryn Davis 26:49 So, Emily, What experiences have you had with the Savior, that gives you the faith that He will help you navigate?
Emily Snyder 26:58 Okay, I'm just gonna use a whole box of tissues today. Thanks, Kathryn. So many. And I think especially like I said, the wrestling of being single. But then the byproduct of that is career choices. Like I was engaged a couple times, different stories for different days. But after one of them, a dear family friend said the world is your oyster, you can do anything. And I was like, I don't want to do anything like this is what I wanted. But after I picked up the pieces and gathered them all up, and then gave him to God to make that Japanese pottery and fill it with gold. When I finally was able to breathe again, it was like she's not wrong. I mean, that's one of the greatest blessings of my life is the world is my oyster, I can do whatever I want. Sometimes it feels like a headache. But I am not bound by a lot of things. It's paralyzing in an opposite way. Because every part of the equation is a variable for the most part for me. So I could pick up and move and live in China. And I only have me as a party wants to support so like there's so many things that I could do. And so that wrestling has been beautiful, realizing what is success for my life. What are the opportunities in a world where I had the vision before of What I was lacking was a spouse and children and at home and whatever. And now looking at saying, what trees did you give me? What are all the possible fruits? As Michael Wilcox gave a talk tape once that tells you how to talk tape. Your generation,
Kathryn Davis 28:38 you're like, what's a tape?
Emily Snyder 28:41 Oh my gosh. That's tragic. He had a talk about how I felt I knew about marriage. And just a lot of the navigation of the marriage conversation especially in our culture and he compared it to the Lord and the Savior and the Father bringing Adam and Eve into the Garden of Eden and saying we've created all of these things for you to partake of enjoy. There's this one hold off. Not now. There's consequences. But everything else go go go go. Satan comes in and is like the tree! And he only will focus them in on the thing that they can't have in the moment. And he compared it to marriage and said that is not the only tree that is not the only tree and somehow Satan has told our culture that that is the only tree. I've applied that in countless spaces of my life of being able to say okay, this isn't what I thought I wanted. So where are the rest of my trees? Because I know he's giving me countless trees. And so those have been the moments when I've walked out of the boat when I've tried new jobs and I've tried new friendships when I've tried new anything. I feel like is when I'm like, okay, as a party of one don't really have a backup plan. I don't have a backup when I walk into a new ward and try to make a new community. I don't have kids to rely on to be like, Oh, I've gotta go hide behind my kiddos and I gotta get into primary like, it's me. There's no spouse to like, be my wing man and to ask us your questions, like, it's all up to me. And so those have been some pretty, pretty beautiful moments and then to fall, when I misstep in relationships at work. When I misstep with relationships in family. It's still all on me, there's nobody else to blame. That's not my kids fault. It's not my spouse's, it's not my in laws, like, there's no one to hide behind anymore. There's just me.
Kathryn Davis 30:46 So how has your respect for God increased through some of those hard times? And in some of the good times, what have you learned about him?
Emily Snyder 30:57 That there's nobody else I want to kick it with, like, there's nobody else I want on my team, because like we've said, he sees. He sees all that I'm not. And he sees just as the homeless man and whomever like he sees all that they are in the moment, like their eternal glory is the vision with which God is seeing all of us. The men on the street, the men in prison, the women in prison, the like, whatever it is that the men and women trapped in a political world, like whatever spot like he sees all of us in our ultimate glory. It's not like I have to become anything. I'm it! I get to discover and uncover and pull the scales back from my eyes, for me to see what he's already seen. And I like that. I like to be with somebody that already sees me as my very favorite self, and then sees you as your very favorite self, I want to get to know that favorite self.
Kathryn Davis 32:02 Well, for me, I find in those moments where I can get those scales off of my eyes, and I can see truly how God feels about me, which is hard. It takes time. And sometimes I don't feel that. Yeah. But when I ask to understand how God feels about me, and how he respects me, it's easier for me to see that in you and see that and others. But I have to see it in me first.
Emily Snyder 32:34 Yes and no. I mean, I don't know, I might push you on that one.
Kathryn Davis 32:37 Push me.
Emily Snyder 32:37 because I mean, going back to First John, I think the reason why I have you been able to practice finding how God sees me, is because I've had a lot of people that have found parts of me that I'm like, shut up. Really, that's what you see, when you see me? Like, that's really your version, your definition of Emily Snyder is that? I like that version. How do I show up for that version more? And so? Yes, I think there's more power when I own it. And when I start seeing it for myself, but I think it truly comes from somebody first seeing that, and choosing to see that in me first. And in us first to then be like, Hmm, maybe there's something to that. I want to try that on. I want to do that more.
Kathryn Davis 33:19 But don't you think that's still God answering us in how he sees us? He uses other people.
Emily Snyder 33:26 Sure, totally. But I don't even know that I would have known how to ask the question. So yeah, but I don't. I think when I was 10 years old, and Kathy Barber, like just kind of let me nestled under her wing for a lot of things when I felt like such an ugly duckling. Kathy always cared. Always. I didn't know how to ask for the heavenly hugs or know how to recognize them at that point. So yes, for sure God, but willing people that choose to be respecters.
Kathryn Davis 33:53 Well, isn't that interesting. If we can be those people who choose to be respecters? Are we helping others see themselves as God does? Can we be that for someone else?
Emily Snyder 34:09 Maybe that is what the ask of respect and why that's such a key piece of peacemakers is that without that recognition that we're all in this together, we're all equal, and his eyes like, no matter what I do, or don't do, it doesn't matter. Because I'm his child, and he sees the long game. The more I see that, the more peace I feel about what I'm trying to accomplish in regular life, and the interactions and me.
Kathryn Davis 34:39 I just keep coming back to the Savior. Because if we truly want to become like Him, and He is the prince of peace, and he brings peace, and we want to have his peace and bring his peace to others, like that's what it means to be a peacemaker. Right. We have to make his peace. He had authority, and he had respect, but how did he show respect?
Emily Snyder 35:02 Well, and I mean, there could be an also an interesting wrestle for another day too. We choose to believe his authority and choose to see his behaviors as showing respect and having respect. But most of the world that at the time didn't, because of his behaviors of interacting with those that society deemed irrespectable. I don't know. For me, I don't love pedestals. And so I try my darndest to, to negate pedestals and interact with people as humans and be like, cool, you did amazing things. I respect the things that you've overcome, and the hard things that have happened.
Kathryn Davis 35:39 So Emily, how has having respectful relationships led you to more peace, like respectful relationships with yourself? with God and with others? How has that brought you more peace?
Emily Snyder 35:51 I think it's taught me to see the long game, that it's not about the short wins. It's not about winning the thing, but it's the long game. I mean, I've seen enough that is an eternal game, that it puts things into perspective for me. That doesn't mean I'm not impatient, like, I will be the self proclaimed maybe the most impatient human being that I know. So that's the practice.
Kathryn Davis 36:15 And how grateful I am that God is playing the long game. Yeah. And I think it's just easier for me to, if I can constantly remember that it's the long game, then it's easier for me to practice more respect with others, that God's working the long game in them as well.
Emily Snyder 36:33 Yes, yes, yes. And that some lessons I've learned, they have yet to, and lessons that I've yet to learn, they've mastered and that like, this is my individual experience, my individual relationship, and that's the long game.
Kathryn Davis 36:49 And how important it is to recognize and realize that. Yeah, I think to respect also means to respect those, like when Jesus went to the women, and the sinners, and the marginalized, he respected and understood the long game. And if somebody has a different viewpoint than me or a different situation, it doesn't mean that there's not experiences that they've had that they can teach me.
Emily Snyder 37:17 Right, right. And figuring out the timeframes of what that conversation looks like is going to be, again, it may not be as I'm racing to a meeting.
Kathryn Davis 37:27 But when we can understand that how much peace that can bring into my daily life and my actions and my mistakes. When I don't measure up, I can still feel peace, understanding that God respects and is playing the long game. So good. Hey, Emily, you know, we'd like to end every conversation with a small and simple thing that we can work on through the week to bring more peace. So what do you think what is a small and simple thing that we can work on this week to have more respectful relationships?
Emily Snyder 38:04 My invitation would be to use the phrase either in our head or verbally when people are frustrating, or in a moment where we maybe don't want to respect them like, Oh, they're human too. Okay. Oh, you're human, too. All right. Cool.
Kathryn Davis 38:20 That's a great phrase. Because not only does it give us respect for others, but also for ourselves. I think it teaches us both such a joy to have you here.
Emily Snyder 38:31 Such a delight and honor thanks for letting me come hang out.
Kathryn Davis 38:39 For me, a key phrase from this conversation that is going to stay with me is when Emily said self respect comes from understanding your relationship with God. Thanks for being here. And hop on over to Instagram at magnify community for more inspiration and conversation. And of course, subscribe and listen to the magpie podcast wherever you get your shows. Let's meet up again next week.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai