39. Choosing Peace and the Prince of Peace with Brooke Casanovas
As we continue in our “pursuit of peace,” it’s helpful to understand how agency plays a role in being a peacemaker. Agency is the greatest gift we’ve been given, but do we always use our agency for good to create more love and peace in our lives? Choosing to be a peacemaker usually isn’t the loudest or most popular choice, but it is what God has asked of us. Choosing peace is rising above worldly influence to care more about our relationship with God and others than anything else.
“Choosing peace can only come when we get to know the Prince of Pece.” — Brooke Casanovas
Brooke Casanovas and Kathryn Davis discuss how peace is a premeditated choice when it comes to how we react in situations. We claim our identity as children of God when we choose peace.
Peace isn't a choice we can make in the middle of conflict. Peace has to be chosen before any conflict happens.
Let's practice being silent and taking the time to understand someone else's point of view as we are learning how to choose peace in our reactions.
How we treat others is evidence of how we claim our identity as children of God.
As we build personal relationships with the Savior, we will learn how to become more like him and make choices that he would make.
Small & Simple Challenge
Let's follow the Prophet's invitation to do a personal relationship inventory and audit on who could use some reconciliation. Do some ego-removing and offer forgiveness first with God and then with others. Create peace in that moment.
Transcript +
Kathryn Davis 00:00 If you're like me, sometimes we don't feel peace in our lives because like Taylor Swift says, it's me. Hi, I'm the problem, it's me. But this can be changed when we are more conscious of our ability to choose peace. Hi, and welcome to Magnify, an LDS Living podcast where we cheer inspire and embolden each other as women and followers of Jesus Christ. We hope to use our influence to make a difference in the world. I'm your host, Kathryn Davis, a mom, a seminary teacher, and a grilling enthusiast who loves God. As we continue in our pursuit of peace, it's helpful to understand how agency plays a role in being a peacemaker. Agency is the greatest gift we've been given. But do we always use our agency for good to create more love and peace in our lives? Choosing to be a peacemaker usually isn't the loudest or most popular choice, but it is what God has asked of us. Choosing peace is rising above worldly influence to care more about our relationship with him and others than anything else. To talk more about agency. I'm with our guest, Brooke Casanovas. I'm excited to get into this conversation with you today. And to talk more about President Nelson's address "Peacemakers Needed." Didn't you love that talk?
Brooke Casanovas 01:22 I don't have words in the English language to say how much I loved that talk. And just his timeliness, as always, of not just the words, but the meaning behind those words, and what kind of outcomes he's trying to create for us saints. In such a destructive and divisive world. I just, I thought that they were, they were perfect. And as inspired as they can be from our prophet.
Kathryn Davis 01:48 Interesting, I want to ask you about what outcomes you think he wants for us. But before we get into those outcomes, I want our listeners to get to know you a little bit better. So I have some rapid fire questions for you. Are you ready?
Brooke Casanovas 02:03 Yes. Okay, ready as ever.
Kathryn Davis 02:05 Okay, you've had the chance to travel a fair amount. Yeah. And I want to know what makes traveling an experience that you can remember, even if you don't have a picture of the moment?
Brooke Casanovas 02:18 Oh, my goodness. Okay. So short answer is I love traveling, because I love doing everyday things in new places. And so I think how you remember the moment is, you actually implement mundane things that you would do in your everyday life in a new place of travel. I love like a meal in a new place. I love playing cards in the new place. I love dribbling a basketball with my nephew in a new place of travel. And I think that that's where memories are always created. It's in the like, small moments and the in-betweens. And so like, You're not always going to remember the hike to Machu Picchu, or the jet skiing that you're doing on the best lake in the world. But what you do remember is, at least for me is like the mundane small moments that you would typically do in your everyday life in a new place.
Kathryn Davis 03:14 Isn't that interesting? Yeah, it makes me take a little pressure off sometimes I think when we travel, to create these amazing experiences, but to think I just need to do something mundane. And create that memory. Yes, okay you work with a lot of different people from a lot of different backgrounds. What are some tips for starting a conversation with someone you've never met before?
Brooke Casanovas 03:38 Oh, my gosh, this is a hilarious question. I'm going to tell this through a story. So there was this one event that I went to, and all of the people were coming up to me and asking me the same thing. What is your name? And what do you do? And it was like, Man, I got thinking about it after the third person asked the same two questions. And I was like, man, if they only base their entire judgment off of me of what my name is, and what I do for a living, they would be missing 99% of what is really meaningful to me in my life. So I was like, the only way to change this is to model it. So I was like, what are some, like, kind of out there questions I could start a conversation with in this crowd that would invite them to be vulnerable, but also at the same time, have fun. So it was this group of women. And the first one that I went to she was like, Hey, what's your name? Where you from? And I was like, Hey, I have a couple questions for you to get to know you. She's like, Yeah, I was like, so I want to know, what were the last three things that you went to bed thinking about last night? And did you wake up with those same thoughts this morning? Like they had just like stayed in your brain the entire night? And she was like, Oh my gosh, and then she went through them and all three of them had to do with her kids. And it told me everything about her that what she's thinking about is she's completely consumed with the humans she's raising naturally. And I was like this says so much about this woman and where her attention is going, and what it's on before she goes to bed. And when she wakes up, and I think we had like an hour conversation about what mattered to her after that. Then I went to another woman that was more lighthearted, and she is just like, comic relief for everyone. And I was like, okay, to relate to this woman. I'm going to need some vulnerability, but some humor. So I went up to her, I was like, Okay, I have a very important question for you. I've never met this woman in my life. She's like, Oh, my gosh, hit me with it. I was like, Okay, so tell me whether or not you've experienced pre-menopause is out of the question. It doesn't really matter. But let's just say hypothetically, you have experienced menopause. What do you anticipate are the negative consequences in your life from such an event? And she was like, she just lost it laughing. And it just like, just the laughter itself, it didn't matter what the answer to that question was, it was the camaraderie that it built of like, let's talk about something vulnerable, but something humorous that we can both relate to, because of people in our lives, whether we've been through menopause or not. And it just switched things up a lot. Every woman that I went to at that event, I was just based on what I was observing about them and their personality, or what I was observing about the culture in that room, which was defined by what your name was, where you were from, and what you do for a living, which actually says not a whole lot. It just opened up a window of opportunity. And I, I really loved that. So it was it was kind of fun.
Kathryn Davis 06:41 So asking questions more about the individual person and not so much about the things that we like or do.
Brooke Casanovas 06:50 Yeah, yeah. The typical, like, how are you? How many people actually answer that truthfully?
Kathryn Davis 06:55 No one? Yeah. So fun. Okay, so I know you have a gift for finding the positive and smiling through life. So how do you cultivate optimism in your daily experiences?
Brooke Casanovas 07:11 Oh, my goodness? That's a really good question. I don't think I'm the best at it. But I do think it's an intentional practice. And I think you look for the positive when your attention is focused on things that are working instead of things that aren't working. And so I would say that the most underrated practice I've ever done in my life, or for my business has always been to start every single day with gratitude. Positive attitudes don't just come because people have an unique way of seeing and being optimistic people. I think positive attitudes come from curated intentional practices that are invoked daily into their life of starting every day going, what do I have to look at that I need to be so grateful for and that I am so grateful for? And just the practice of gratitude daily and and nightly, it's underrated because it's so simple, starting your day with gratitude of what you're grateful for, and what you have, and what is working that can go so so far.
Kathryn Davis 08:14 Brooke, so when you curate optimism, do you start your day? Do you write it down? Do you mention it in prayer? Or what is your habit?
Brooke Casanovas 08:24 Yeah, so before my scripture study, I like to just sit and meditate for about 10 minutes on the things that are working really, really well, that I'm really grateful for. And then obviously take that to prayer. As part of my prayer, I think what's also really interesting in order to invoke more practice of gratitude, is you see what's working by asking really, really specific questions. So this year, I'm actually working on adopting two identities as part of my practice. I am a peacemaker, and I am a really good receiver. And I think as we become really good receivers, I realized that for a long time, I was a really good asker in my life, like I asked God for a lot of things. But I wasn't... it wasn't that he wasn't willing to grant them to me, it just that I wasn't ready to receive them. So I've just prayed on being a really good receiver. And I think that the practice of gratitude every day when I sit and I meditate, and I think, what do I have to be grateful for? It's really easy to bring those up because the previous day's prayers have been in inviting God to be a part of my life on things that I'm asking for.
Kathryn Davis 09:31 So let's talk about how you identify yourself as a peacemaker. Was this in response to President Nelson's address of "Peacemakers Needed"? Like I think that talk again, we've mentioned a lot on magnify how this is a landmark talk and I think we're diving in because there's so much in there to change our lives and our behavior and our attitude. But I love in his talk when he said this. He said, "contention is a choice. Peacemaking as a choice. You have your agency to choose contention or reconciliation." So you just said that you identify yourself as a peacemaker, and as a receiver, is that in direct response to President Nelson's talk?
Brooke Casanovas 10:17 Yeah, it is. And it's also probably because I need the most work with it, honestly. So I had an experience, the last general conference, I've always loved the words of the prophets, the last conference, I was like, No, I'm, I'm not just listening to the prophets words this time, but I was like, I'm going to do something very serious about it. So when he gave his talk, in the October 2022, General Conference on overcoming the world, I created this framework for what I would do to implement his words so that I could overcome the world. And what I found was that us overcoming the world was in direct relation to becoming a peacemaker, that unless we were striving to overcome the world, there would be large, large gaps in our experience of not being able to be a peacemaker, and the ramifications that it had on my life, as I chose to strive to overcome the world war massive, I really feel like it's prepared me to become a peacemaker. And so now the work is, okay, what does it look like, Brooke, to become a peacemaker in your life and make the choice, like you said, of the quote that you just read?
Kathryn Davis 11:26 So what does that look like? What does choosing peace mean to you?
Brooke Casanovas 11:31 It means a lot of things. But I think going back to this idea of choice. So being a peacemaker is a very premeditated choice. We always talk about premeditated choices, they usually have a negative context. But I think that they could have one of the most powerful contexts in our lives as you even look at the lesson that President Nelson was trying to teach when he was like, hey, so I'm actually going to teach this principle through a story. And he talks about the doctor that he's performing surgery with that throws the scalpel. And He literally says in that talk, I promised myself that day that whatever was happening in my operating room, I would never throw words, anger, anything physical at anyone. And whether that be scalpel or words, I would, I would be a peacemaker. And I thought about that story that he chose to open that talk with, and I was like, that was a completely premeditated choice. He couldn't choose to be a peacemaker in the middle of conflict. That choice had to be made before the conflict arose. And so what it looks like for me to be a peacemaker is to decide what it looks like to respond and react when I disagree, when people are hurting, or I have been hurt, when I have hurt others, and what it looks like when there just seems to be no plausible solutions, and people are just being quote unquote, hard. And that premeditated choice of becoming a peacemaker, because those events will and and have happened. I think the choice to make how you're going to respond before it does is one of the most powerful things that we can do as we follow our prophets example of what he did 50 years ago in the operating room that literally, I believe, probably changed the course and the trajectory of his future relationships, because in that moment, he decided how he would respond in conflict. It's not in the conflict, it's before the conflict. I think that one of the biggest lessons I've learned from that is this ability to have emotional regulation. So I did my master's degree in organizational leadership. And my emphasis was on self-awareness and emotional intelligence. And I cannot tell you the role that I have found that emotional intelligence plays in actually executing this role of being a peacemaker, because it's the ability for someone to give enough seconds between what's happening in that moment, and the thing that they're going to do next, before they do it. Next, you've premeditated how you will respond when conflict arises. But that doesn't mean that when conflict arises, you're still going to be perfect, right? There's this small gap, where there's a small moment that we have the choice and a small space of how we're going to respond. Before we're acted upon by our own emotions, we can choose how we're going to react. And I found that that small space is the window I'm currently working in, in order to make sure that the choice is one of peace instead of one of conflict and chaos.
Kathryn Davis 14:49 So how do we get good at recognizing that small gap? Because I think sometimes it's so easy to react. Yeah, it's so easy to react to conflict. And I think our natural reaction can sometimes be to choose contention. Yeah, when we're reacting, we're usually reacting to the world around us, which can sometimes be very contentious. And so if we react, we're choosing contention. So how do we get to that space, that gap?
Brooke Casanovas 15:21 It takes a lot of practice. And actually, this is a skill set, I would believe. I think there is a wonderful skill set and opportunity for all of us to acquire in our lives that will bless us in more ways than one. First, I think the first step is just silence. Like, let's just practice being silent for two minutes, five minutes, 10 minutes, taking a walk, taking a breath, screaming into a pillow, like, whatever that is. But let's take that space and that moment, before we say anything, let's just be inside of ourselves. The second step is I don't, I think there's less reaction in our world, when we actually start to see people's decisions, reactions, choices from their perspective instead of our own. I think it was in the autobiography of Henry B. Eyring that I love so much like that book changed my life, he talks about how every one of us whatever choice we're making is coming from a rational place, whether people think so or not. And so if you assume that, that every choice that every person is making, whether that's what they're doing, or what they're saying, is coming from their own experience and their own rational ways of being and thinking, then we can assume that it's not just these really, really horrible people waking up and going, how can I make everyone's life misery today? Because there's very few people that are doing that. And so the second step that is more advanced that I would say I'm currently working on is this ability to not be in a place of reaction, but in a place of understanding.
Kathryn Davis 17:00 So do you think we ever choose contention without realizing it?
Brooke Casanovas 17:05 Absolutely. I loved Gary Stevenson's talk, at the very beginning of conference, talking about how he wasn't even aware he had celebrated so much Christmas, and done so many things for Christmas, but had never even considered the celebration of Easter in meaningful ways. And I loved that talk so much, because the Spirit pricked me and was like, what he's talking about is awareness. And if you just plead for more awareness of where your gaps are, this is how you've celebrated in the past, let's consider something even more significant that you haven't even been aware of. The awareness itself will heal so much. It's not even about fixing it as much as it is an awareness of what you're cultivating in your family culture, your life, your friendships, your business relationships, the Holy Ghost can point out some significant things are not in a shameful way. But just in a, this is where you're doing really well. And here's some gaps that we can fill that maybe you haven't even been aware of, of how you're subconsciously creating contention in your patterns of behavior.
Kathryn Davis 18:14 It seems like we then need to ask for that awareness to choose peace. Yeah, to choose to be a peacemaker.
Brooke Casanovas 18:21 I completely agree. We have to ask for it. And choosing peace. And being a peacemaker can only come as we know the Prince of Peace. And so I think that if there's anything that I could recommend, besides praying for that awareness, it's really creating this really intimate and real relationship with the Prince of Peace and going, You operate always, Savior, in a way that is in harmony and goodness and best intention for other people. Can you help me to learn who you are and what you're about, so that I can become a little bit more like you? And I just think I just think the proximity to the Savior allows us to be better peacemakers. There's nothing that can have a quicker fix, than having closer proximity to the Savior, who is the Prince of Peace, that can help us become the peacemakers. Because he's not asking us to do peace. He's asking us to make peace, peace makers. And so what he's actually inviting us to do, is to be creators of peace. And we can't be creators of peace if we don't know the Prince of Peace. So while I could like, go over all of the steps that one might do in one's life to really focus on having less conflict and chaos. I think the answer and the antidote to actual contention and chaos in our lives, is to actually just getting more proximity with him who does it best because it's who he is. It's not even what he does, it's who he is.
Kathryn Davis 20:02 So what have you learned about the Savior and that title of the Prince of Peace as you've tried to become closer with him?
Brooke Casanovas 20:10 Well, I might get emotional about this. But I think that one of the greatest things about the Savior, and I don't know how he does it, is that somehow, he has learned to remove all ego from his intentions for his brothers and sisters. There's just absolutely nothing coming from his agenda that would serve him. It's all about other people, and how to make their lives better and happier. I think it was Elder Scott that said, one of the scriptures is in Alma 34, and it's the scripture where it talks about, we need to be humble, and submissive, and meek, and being willing to submit to the will of the Father, long suffering. As you really look at those qualities, those qualities are hard, like one of the hardest things that we'll ever do, but the most beneficial and enriching journeys we can never be on is embracing those qualities and having and developing those qualities to become like the Savior. And out of all those qualities, I would say the biggest one that has been personally meaningful for me is just removing the ego and having this agenda that serves you and instead pivoting towards what is the agenda look like that can serve and bless and benefit other people. And as I've grown in proximity to the Savior, he's really taught me that. He's taught me how much ego I really have. He's taught me how to remove the ego. He's taught me how to not have an agenda for not just my life, but the things that I desire and want that are just in my best interest, and instead directed my attention to how can this agenda bless and benefit the human race? And I think that he's just the best at that. He really is.
Kathryn Davis 22:02 Well, you just said something. And I had this thought that I've never thought about before. And I just want to ask you about it, because you were talking about how he's asking us to be a peacemaker. He's invited us to make peace with him. And I just thought if he is the creator, and he's the creator of peace, then He's inviting us into this role of creating with Him. Yeah. And isn't that one of our divine roles from our heavenly parents, is to be creators?
Brooke Casanovas 22:42 Yeah, I love that you have that insight, Kathryn, because as divine creators, we also know that one of the biggest things that I will combine agency with peacemaking with is this idea that as we utilize our agency for good, our agency actually expands and grows. And as our agency expands and grows, so does the piece that is offered in our life, because the bigger the circle we have of agency to exist, the more people we can fit within that circle, and the more people we can fit within that circle, the more peace and opportunities for peace there are. You don't just create something from nothing, you have to understand the conditions that exist in order to do that. Bruce R McConkie talked about how agency has four elements to it. Most people just think the agency is a choice. It's much more than that. In order for agency to exist, there's four things that he said need to exist. The first one is an understanding of the law. So we need to understand what the law is and why we follow it. The second one is there needs to be opposition. In order for a choice to be made of peacemaking there needs to be opposition to that peace. The third thing that needs to exist in order for agency to exist is a knowledge between good and evil. In order for agency to exist, I need to know if I rebuke someone or say something back that leads to more chaos and more confusion and more hurt and more trauma, these are going to be the consequences or the implications of that evil. Likewise good if I choose to be a peacemaker in this moment, or future moments, because of my knowledge of good and evil, I know that the good and the ramifications and consequences that will happen from being a peacemaker will be x, y, and z. The fourth one is an unfettered power of choice. So that means that like there's no restraint in the environment or conditions for you to be able to make the choice we need to actually make the choice, the premeditated choice I would invoke in order for us to actually be these creators of peace that the Savior's inviting us to do.
Kathryn Davis 24:58 Well, the Doctrine and Covenants talks a lot about the power of choosing and using our agency. And in fact, in Doctrine and Covenants section 37, verse four, it says, "Behold, Here is wisdom, and let every man choose for himself until I come." And true, I think true wisdom is understanding that we can use our agency to choose peace. I think in that moment in the operating room is where President Nelson understood true wisdom.
Brooke Casanovas 25:26 Yeah, well, and you know, that even reminds me of the scripture in D&C 58, where it says, that let's not be slothful servants. But let's not be compelled in all things for he that has compelled in all things the same is a slothful and unwise servant, therefore he receives no reward. But I love the scripture after that, that's the most, that's the most my most favorite scripture, because after it talks about, you don't have to be told exactly what to do and how to do it. You have the capacity to choose and to make those choices. He says in the next verse, the line that I love the most, he says, For the power is in them. The power is in us to be peacemakers. The power is in us, especially as covenant women, and men of God, to not only choose peace, but to create it in a world of chaos and contention. The power is in us, not just because we are still sons and daughters of God, but the power's in us because of the covenants that we have made that give us access to the Prince of Peace, and his power to operate in our lives. It is part of our divine inheritance to choose peace. In that gap. It's so true. The power is in us in those gaps of what we're going to choose and how we choose it. Because of who we are. You're absolutely right. And as we claim the identity as sons and daughters of God, the power will be given to us to create the peace. But peace doesn't just happen because we're silent, or we just like sit in the corner and we don't cause conflict. The Savior doesn't want that the Savior wants peace makers. So what he's asking for is an active engagement in creating a place of harmony and peace and understanding and safety amidst the conflict.
Kathryn Davis 27:18 And you said that to claim that identity. And I think we talk about that so much about our divine identity. And Brooke, that's what I kind of want to know is how we can claim that because there's power in that identity. And it's not just a nice song that we sing every Sunday, right? But here's what President Nelson said, he said, "I believe that if the Lord were speaking to you directly, the first thing he would make sure you understood is your true identity. My dear friends, you are literally spirit children of God." And I will remember the very first thing the prophet asked us to do when he was called as a prophet was he asked us to ask God how he felt about us. Because I think all of this begins there.
Brooke Casanovas 28:04 Well, it's interesting that you asked that because it was about three weeks ago that I was in young women's and I was giving the lesson. And without trying to revert to these young women feeling pressure to become this cookie cutter, Provo, young woman that has to do everything with perfectionism and exactness. I wanted them to really figure out what it really meant to claim this identity and what it really meant for them to be a daughter of God. So I asked them, Okay, so if this is who you are, I am a daughter of God, then how do you act? What do you do? And I don't want answers that you think I want you to give me. What does that look like to you? And their answers were across the board. And they were so descriptive in their own unique way, because how they visualized themselves as daughters of God meant something different for all of them. But at the end of the day, it pointed to the same thing. It pointed to covenants, it pointed to worship, it pointed to peace, it pointed to family. And while it might have looked different for them to claim that identity, the important piece was that they actually knew what it looks like. What does it look like for me to be a daughter of God? How do I show up? How do I act? What do I say? What do I do? How do I treat people? That was the other thing President Nelson said in this talk, is he said how we treat other people matters. It actually matters and I want them to have a very clear picture of what them treating other people, members, non-members, those of different political preferences, what that looks like, especially when they don't agree.
Kathryn Davis 29:52 So what does that look like for Brooke?
Brooke Casanovas 29:55 Yeah, so I think for me what it looks like to be a daughter of God and claim that I do entity is that I am going to be someone that gives more than I take. Wherever I go, I'm going to try and offer the service that I wish I was being dealt in my own life. And I've always seen that come back full, full throttle. And I'm not talking about giving at the expense of my own personal needs. I'm not talking about that and running faster than I have strength. But I think being a daughter of God, for me looks like giving more than I take. I think being a daughter of God means that I'm articulate in my faith. So how do I be articulate in my faith, I'm going to be articulate as a daughter of God in my faith, by immersing myself in the Word of God every single day, and really trying to get in closer proximity to the Savior through that, and praying and temple worship. What is being a daughter of God look like for me? It means showing up in ways and treating people with the kind of words that the Savior would say, if he were here. Do I fall short? Absolutely. Am I always saying the same words, the Savior would say? Never. But I can at least attempt and if I have a visual of the Savior next to the identity that Brooke is trying to claim, I start acting different. But I think that it's manifested most, which is why he brings this up in his talk, if they were to put a camera in the corner of my family room, and, you know, play it at a random time 5:30 to 7:30, my hope, my hope, would be that what's ever on that camera, if Heaven was watching, it would exemplify that of a peacemaker, because how we treat other people matters. Daughters and women of God, they act like the Savior. And they're not perfect. But if you had a camera, behind the scenes, they're doing a lot of the similar things that the Savior would be doing if he was in their home. And they're not perfect. And I'm not talking about perfectionism. I'm talking about effort, and intentionality, and connection, and forgiveness, and patience. And I think that, that's the other thing that I've learned is, even if I'm not that good at peacemaking yet, which I'm really working on, I can be really, really good at the repair. And that has had just as much power, if anything in bringing me to closer proximity with the Savior than beforehand. And so I think, I think that's a true lesson that I've learned in being a daughter of God is, right now what it looks like for me is, if I'm not really good yet at the peacemaking thing, I can at least make peace after I have interfered with it.
Kathryn Davis 32:47 Well, it's also who Christ is. Right? If you were talking He is the Prince of Peace. He is also the prince of reconciliation. And he allows room for that in our everyday. And for me this talk, especially as we're talking about claiming our identity, and what President Nelson has asked us to understand about ourselves, I like trying to visualize what a daughter of God would do and say, and how I would act. And this talk, honestly, has helped me create a more full picture of who I want to be. And only through him, and only with him can I be a peacemaker, a joint creator with Christ. Can I be a peacemaker? And also, can I help reconcile myself and those I love, and just know that there's room, there's room for mistakes, and there's room for growth.
Brooke Casanovas 33:46 And I think that that's what President Nelson was inviting us to do is, is to create the space because we're not going to be perfect at the peacemaking part. But he says in the talk, he says, "note that we also rebuke the adversary every time we heal a misunderstanding, or refuse to take offense." So I just think that the Savior knows that we're going to be imperfect, and we're going to be human. And we're going to mess up. And we're not going to handle every situation with the kind of grace, the patience that our Savior does. But we can get closer. And how we get closer is, what does it look like when this woman shows up after she hasn't showed up? And how does she act when she knows that it wasn't her best and she wasn't treating people in higher and holier ways. That's, I think what says everything about a peacemaker is how they show up when they haven't created the peace and the type of like, forgiveness and space and grace because as we practice doing that with ourselves, it actually, I found, it creates more space for others. I'm like, oh, yeah, Like, that's not a big deal. I didn't even think twice about that you were having a bad day. Like it literally, it just it expands our opportunity, and the space for the grace and the patience and the forgiveness that we give to others because we're practicing and hoping that other people will practice it on us every single day. And so it's, it's not just about the premeditated choice about being a peacemaker. It's also about what we do when when we've made the wrong choice, and what that repair looks like.
Kathryn Davis 35:30 And I just have loved this conversation, because it's teaching me so much about the choice that I have. Like, I feel more empowered to choose peace. What that looks like, what that means, how I can do that when I'm doing the laundry, or doing the dishes or when I'm frustrated. And I think on the flip side, which is just as important, what I can do when I've not chosen peace.
Brooke Casanovas 35:56 Isn't that so true? I will share just one other thing that I think has really just changed everything for me in terms of peace. And you could say that chaos and conflict and sin is what is created when we don't choose peace, right. But Hugh Nibley had a beautiful definition of sin that I've always loved. He said that the definition of sin in his book was waste. I love that. I love to think that any time I'm not choosing peace, whether that's before a conflict or after I've had a conflict, contention, or disagreement. It's a waste. What I'm engaging in is waste. It's a waste of time, it's a waste of energy. It's a waste of effort, it's a waste of becoming. Our entire existence is for us to help us become like the Savior. And so if we're not using that time to become someone like him, what a waste because that's the entire point of this probationary state, according to Alma 34 is, the time is at hand for us to prepare to meet God. And the only way we can prepare to meet God is by choosing peace. Because if not, there's a lot of waste to be had in our lives and our relationships. I don't know of any conflict, where I've chosen the conflict over peace that has led to fruitful things in my life and positive outcomes. They've just been waste. So I like to anticipate and think about that in terms of the consequences.
Kathryn Davis 37:35 So as we wrap up this conversation, we always like to end with something that we can do something small or simple, that can help us choose peace, help us use our agency to choose peace and not waste this opportunity. So what would be your small and simple challenge for us to do this week to use our agency to be peacemakers?
Brooke Casanovas 38:04 Yeah, well, I will go back to, because our Prophet said it better than any invite I could ever give, is to do a personal relationship inventory and audit in your life on who it is that you need some reconciliation with. Some sorry's. Some, like, ego, removing, whether that's in your family, friendships, colleagues, whatever, and offer that forgiveness first with God, reconcile that, and then go to your brother. And make sure that that reconciliation, the only outcome there is that you are going to be the creator in that moment for peace, whether it was your fault or not. And if you can do that with just one relationship this week, I can promise you that the positive outcomes that will exist in your life will be far beyond the waste that you would have experienced otherwise.
Kathryn Davis 38:52 And however that's received. Yeah, right. It doesn't matter. Yep. It is our choice to reconcile. Yeah, beautiful. Oh, Brooke, thank you so much for your wisdom and your insights. And man, I just feel like... I feel inspired that I can do better.
Brooke Casanovas 39:16 Me too.
Kathryn Davis 39:16 Right? that I have a choice and a power. This was such a thought provoking conversation with Brooke today. And I have so much to kind of think and dig into. But one thing that has stayed with me and I want to think about more is when she said that choosing peace can only come when we have a relationship with the Prince of Peace. Thanks for being here and hop on over to Instagram @MagnifyCommunity for more inspiration and conversation. And of course, subscribe and listen to the Magnify Podcast wherever you get your shows. Let's meet up again next week.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai